Feeling down

Hi guys. 

I know I haven't written in a while but I've been so busy with university that I barely seem to find any time for myself, and the topic today isn't going to be happy I just need to write my feelings.

Do you ever feel that you just don't know what to do with your life any more and just keep on doing nothing? That nothing you do matters to anyone? And all of your actions just don't seem good enough for your parents? Well that seems to happen to me all the time.
 I have some nasty habits that I just can't let them go because I don't have the enough strength to leave them and I feel that not leaving them is just getting my life worst and I don't know what to do. I keep procrastinating but is getting even worst than before ( if you want to read my other blogpost about it just click here and here) and I don't know how to stop it I fear that is going to get worst, I feel that I don't have the energy to exercise, mainly because I don't have the time to go to a gym and I live in a apartment and I just can't jump and run without making noise and disturbing the neighbours. Another habit that I just can't leave is my diet. I reduced all the red meat ( pork, cow, etc) and only eat chicken, turkey and fish ( even though all is minimal ) with vegetables, I reduced my pasta and rice portions but I keep on eating junk food - like cookies, nutella and other bad stuff - and I can't quit. It's like part of me just don't want to leave those things alone and I don't know how I can live any more.

The worst part of it is the lecture I had from my parents. We were on a car journey and they kept talking about my habits and health like I wasn't there, not knowing how hard it is to me to quit them, how I feel about doing them. I was trying so hard not to cry in the car but then, when we arrived at the supermarket I walked home and cried on my way back home. I'm writing this after that happened.

I feel lost and don't know what to do. Do you have any tips? If so, write them on the comment section.

Sorry I just had to write my feelings down.
Thank you if you read this.


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